Wookie porn, bitter cold and answers

OK, let’s just get to it already. I watched a Wookie watch porn on Saturday, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. It was a little uncomfortable, more than a little hilarious, and entirely worthy of a new VV holiday tradition.

No wonder George Lucas, Harrison Ford, and anyone associated with the Star Wars franchise views the SW Holiday Special as that little mistake that no one should ever (EVER) speak of ever again. The thing, for those who have not been welcomed into the fold, is perhaps the single most god-awful thing I have ever seen in my life. Worse than watching Romero or Gandhi multiple times in a couple short years*. Worse than seeing Serendipity or Pirates 2 twice within 24 hours**.

Truly, absolutely, wretchedly bad. Which means that when you get a group of people together for the express purpose of celebrating Life Day (the holiday toasted in the special), it’s something that brings people together. Bonds are generated, folks. You watched it. You survived it. You’re talking about making sure to drink more when you watch it next year.

What makes it so terrible? The first 10-15 minutes are delivered in Wookie. No subtitles. Chewie’s wife, father, and child (oh, little Lumpy!) are waiting for Papa Wook to get home, but he’s off gallavanting with Harrison Ford.

What do they do? Mama cooks. Lumpy bobs around. Itchy (yes, Chewie’s dad is named Itchy and has the worst underbite in the history of the universe) watches Diahann Carroll sing and talk about being a Wookie fantasy. BEA ARTHUR SINGS, as does Carrie Fischer.

And there is a cartoon, which introduces Bobba Fett (good), but features spacecraft landing on a planet seemingly covered in red Jello (bad).

Acid probably would have helped me understand things, but since that obviously wasn’t going to happen, I laughed. A lot. And made snide comments with my fellow viewers.

So bad. So hilarious. So a delightful (in a twisted sort of way) kick off to the holidays. The Boys are wonderful for inviting me into this fold.

– Boston is dripping at the moment. The deep freeze in which the city has been trapped let up slightly today (my hands weren’t numb by the time I got home tonight, which was a bonus), so now there are puddles. Everywhere. Particularly, everywhere I step. That said, it’s a pleasant upgrade from walking like a little old lady, convinced that I’m going to fall and break my leg at any moment.

– Two questions came of the “Ask Me Anything” post last week (to the rest of you, I call you wusses). Here are my answers:

Michelle asked about the difference between an Orpheum show, a Paradise show, and a Roxy show. The quick answer (and we’ll discuss this more over coffee sometime soon) is: an Orpheum show is by default more relaxed, and an audience is more complacent. They can sit back and chill, and a band needs to decide whether they want to make it a magical evening or get the people onto their feet with in your face performance style. Of the three, the Orpheum is the most like a listening room vibe – it’s just a really big listening room with ornate fixtures. A Paradise show is grittier, the badass member of the musical family. It’s a come as you are crowd that wants to drink and dance and have fun with the sound; it’s a place more likely to feature guest appearances, wacky cover tunes, and beer-hoisted singalongs. Paradise is my favorite because it’s where you see a show by a band that people are talking about a year or two later. And Roxy is the one in the middle, the one that’s uncertain about what it wants to be. It’s a little trendy, a little gritty, and a little pretentious. A Paradise band feels a little out of its element at Roxy; an Orpheum band feels a little confined. A Roxy show is the one where you’re most likely to feel like you’ve stepped onto the set of a WB (sorry, CW) hour-long drama.

Then again, the last observation might come from the fact that I had to see Gavin there and I’m still yet to be fully recovered from that debacle.

Tx inquired about how I liked Burlington and whether it’s nice to be back. I’m not sure about whether he was referring to how I liked visiting Burlington or living there, so I’ll answer both: visiting Burlington felt wonderful, because I like the vibe there and one of my favorite people on the planet still calls the city town home.

Living in Burlington was great. Although I knew that I didn’t want to permanently settle there, spending a few years there was something that continues to be invaluable to me. I developed my writing there, I met some amazing people there, and the city is charming and located on one of the most beautiful scenic backdrops a person could ever ask for (in other words: I miss my sunsets over Lake Champlain). I think that the music scene needs a jolt, to be sure (the folks that own Nectar’s and Metronome are missing out on a HUGE opportunity for cultivating that scene). But I often wished that I could have quelled the need in me to move to Boston, because I always knew that there were countless people out there who would kill to be able to call that place home and do what I did there. You can say that I’m a big fan.

That said, I was sad to leave Burlington when my visit ended, but also thrilled to realize that I was heading home to Boston. Being able to string those last four words together made me incredibly happy.

– People, please go see “I Am Legend” so you can laugh with me about certain key plot points. I can’t say anything without spoiling it. But get it done. NOW.

– Finally, before I settle into the process of organizing the Christmas gifts I’ve been busily buying as of late (and watch “The Office”), may I remind you that you should visit The Jay if you haven’t done so already? My favorite Los Angeles blogger is a treat everyone should enjoy. You could say I’m a big fan of his, too.

*Both great, amazing, moving films. But I my college curriculum called for me to watch Gandhi twice, Romero either two or three times. At a certain point, all the sorrow and horror blends together into a big blob of Get Me Out of Here Now.
**Long story, on both counts, but I can sum both instances up with “This is what I go through to spend quality time with my family because they want to surprise me with things they think I’ll like.”